Like one wise commenter stated, “Things are looking up for Tila Tequila. She has a meeting with one of the biggest PR firms in the World: Jose Cuervo.
In other news, Vietnam has gone into hiding, shamed by a highlighted association with its new “Ambassador,” Tequila Tequila.”

That just about sums it up. The girl’s really starting to freak me out. Why?

Here’s a quick summary of her past 24+ hours, brought to you by

First she decided she was an angel sent from God:

Listen u guys wanna know about Haiti? Let me tell you something right now. There will be more disasters to come. Even bigger! Warning signs.

I know how the world will end, and yes, it will end. Not in the way you all think it is, but it will end.

Everything you do now is totally irrelevant to what is to come. I am only here to warn you as God’s Messenger and Angel disguised as A Human

Then she said that God took Casey away because of some sort of fraternization clause in the Angel etiquette handbook:

God took the Love of my Life away from me because I promised him that I was only here to do my job. But I fell in Love with Another Angel

So he took her away from me. That was my fault. I broke the rules of being an Angel on Earth as a messenger. We’re not allowed 2 fall in luv

With another Angel. Cuz it will distract me from doing my job of helping the world. The minute I fell in love with another Angel, I stopped.

God sent me here, but did not tell me how or what I needed to do, so just like all other Angels, I had to choose my path on how 2 blend in..

But now time has run out, I have no choice but to reveal myself and who I really am. There is no more time to waste. We must help each other

Then she tried to raise an “army”:

From me trying to stand up for Domestic Violence, Fight For Gay Rights & animal cruelty, Starting the #TilaArmy 4 those who are good pple..

I try as best I can 2 gather all the good people 2gether & help those that are in need. But as i said, I am only the messenger that u killed

Then she decided to “quit” Twitter:

These will be my last words and my last warning 2 everyone on Twitter. I pray for you & your loved ones. God Bless & take care. Off I go. xo

But that only lasted a few minutes, until she decided to become the Ambassador to Vietnam:

I wil be gone for a while as I have teamed up with some Ambassadors. My next step is to become Ambassador 4 my country in Vietnam….

Say goodbye to “TILA TEQUILA” as she is no longer needed & I have revealed my true identity. Real work needs to be done now. I must go.

Then she decided she was pregnant with GI Joe’s baby:

I have a baby growing inside of me now, & that is my new happiness in life. Happiness is something hard to find, but then again. not really.

That is the big news. Its no longer my brother’s baby as Surrogate mother. It is MY very own baby. Yes. MINE. Jayden came back to his Mommy!

Ps-I’m just happy cuz the baby’s father is a AMERICAN HERO! Served in the US ARMY 4 10 years & fought war in Afgan & got shot. He survived.

Now hes out of Army after 10 years and is now a fireman and EMT! My baby’s father is a HERO and saves lives & risked his own in call of duty

yes my babys father was in Afgan for 10 years & got shot many times. He survived. Casey wanted me to do invitro with him cuz hes a HERO! xox

Casey & I planned the pregnancy together, she wanted me to be the pregnant one, that’s why I did it & we picked a US VET HERO!!! SO blessed!

Then she thought she’d retire from the public eye:

New picture. Next Chapter. Time to move on & shut media out of my personal life. I will only let u in so far & now its back 2 business. xo

Which lasted about three hours, until she went back to planning her ambassadorship:

Great news! I am currently starting my process 2 become Ambassador of Vietnam! Fingers crossed! My other Ambassador friend I know R helping

As Ambassador 4 Vietnam I’ll do SO much 2 help my country! I will help them THRIVE & flourish! In honor of all my ancestors who died in war!